Being Loved..!

I woke up to the aroma of coffee and there was my husband beside smiling bright waiting for me to wake up to share the sip; his eyes shouting his love for me louder than yesterday. When I got refreshed, he was no where to be found but has left me a note “To my darling as fresh and lovely as” that directed me to hall where I found bunch of red roses. I was exuberated. With it came a note “Whenever I see you” that instructed me to find beneath the bed, a heart popping up greeting card. My heart skipped a beat. Behind it was a note that “I am waiting for you” directed me to kitchen and there was a cute teddy with a heart shaped tummy and open paws. I took it in my arms for a hug. It had a note on its back “For my sweetheart” and on dining table I found a heart shaped chocolate box. As I lifted it, there was a love arrow pointing to balcony and as I floated to it, he was already on his knees with a golden ring of intertwined hearts embellished with diamonds. I was spellbound awestruck. When he gently took my left hand and put the ring on my ring finger, I couldn’t control my cheeks turning red of blush.

If the ladies out there are feeling jealous, I would have envied myself had this all happened. Trust me, these perfect gentlemen are pure fictional characters living only in movies and novels.

In reality, ours was a pukka arranged marriage and in the period of courtship, we only showed the face we want the other to see. Only after marriage, we really started to understand each other. I was brought in a well-educated family and almost every woman in our extended family going for work whereas he grew in a countryside where women are denied education after an age. When we want to buy things, I filter by Brand and sort by ‘Price – High to Low’ whereas he filters by ratings and sort by ‘Price – Low to High’; when shopping for dresses, I go for colors and designs, he goes for quality and price;  when I fantasized fancy restaurants, a decent and modest one would do for him; Going out on weekends at least once a month was a necessity for me, but it was something luxurious for him. And so, there were lots of differences between us which made our life indifferent. There was a point when I started wondering if I am the one for him and if he loves me at all.

Amidst all these, I still understood his love one day. When I was first pregnant with his baby, he was excited. He would stock the fridge with fruits even if the previous weeks’ was untouched. He would get spinach and liver every other day as doctor suggested. He would ride the bike very slowly when I am pillion, carefully avoiding the pits and speed breakers. He would take me for checkups and scans regularly. He took me for walks in the last weeks of pregnancy. And after I delivered baby girl in hometown, he would travel from Chennai almost every week to see us. When doctor prescribed a supplement to enhance lactation, he himself would prepare every night with warm milk. Even if I had slept early tired of day’s work, he would wake me up and make sure I drink it. I mother fed my daughter for 18 months and from the night I weaned, he stopped giving me milk. That is when I realized his true love for his child and not me. Guess what happened to our second baby who is a boy, I think daddies love daughters more. He doesn’t even ask if I dined now 😉

Well, that was on a lighter note. Over the years, when I foolishly believing love is only cuddles, candies and candle night dinners, he actually made me feel his love in many a ways.

He doesn’t take me to tours often, but he takes me to relatives’ home and occasions without a miss;

He doesn’t enter kitchen when I have maid to assist around, but prepares crispy dosa when no one’s there;

He doesn’t take kids to park and play for hours with them, but he keeps them entertained when I am in meeting or work;

He doesn’t call my parents every week, but gives utmost respect and accompany them to hospitals when they are with us;

He doesn’t read me romantic poems, but he is witty enough to lighten me up with his words when I am moody;

He doesn’t surprise me often with whatever gifts I wanted, but he makes sure to buy me what I needed.

And there are a hundred more ways he showers his care in a language which I took a long time to learn. Everyone has a unique way of expressing their love; the dog by wagging its tail; the cat by twining around your legs; the parrot by fluttering its wings fast. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you wish to be loved doesn’t mean that they don’t love you at all.

The irony of humans is that we think of the ones we love at happy moments but at hard times, we remember and long for the ones who loved us. So, dear readers, go feel the love for being loved is a boon that God hasn’t gifted everyone.

Love and be loved!